Food and nutrition are among my top interests and passions. I have always loved studying the science of how food works in the body, considering different dietary paradigms... and I have always found food to serve as a celebration of the joy of life. Separately, I have always considered myself to be a kind person who loves animals and would never inflict cruelty upon a helpless being. The transition from discussing food and relationships, to the topic of animals and how they fit into the structure of our society, is valuable for me. Two dissonant and seemingly incompatible associations occur in my mind: I love animals, and I also love to eat them. It seems like both can't be true.
I am of the opinion that eating animals is a sound dietary practice for many people. True, every person's body is different, and I believe that some experimentation is required for each individual to determine whether they perform better with or without meat, eggs, dairy, gluten, soy, sugar, corn, grains, particular artificial colors and flavorings, etc. For me, I have tried multiple dietary perspectives and practices, and sustained each of them for long enough to determine how each factor affects my body and, among other things, I learned that the consumption of well-sourced meat is beneficial to my personal physiology, as well as my mental functioning.
What am I to do, now that I have such a strong reason for eating animals? Should I deny myself the benefits of eating food that nourishes my body, on the grounds of a belief that eating animals is wrong? On a global scale, what effect can I have, really? I will save an infinitesimally small lot of animals lives from my personal actions, and that seems like nothing compared to the power of every other person on the planet... not to mention chance happenings like sickness! The argument could be made that I could inspire change in others, and promote animal welfare by the residual effect of my influence... but I don't think that I would have enough full force behind my conviction, given that I already believe meat to be valuable to my well-being, to convince anybody to change their ways. My biggest struggle is the negotiation between the importance that nutrition has in my life, and the guilt that comes from supporting killing for pleasure.
If I had to choose between the two, I would honestly place my precedence upon nutrition. The best I can do, at this point in my life, is to be careful and conscientious of the source of my animal products. I do my very best to buy meat and eggs that came from animals who were given the opportunity to live as close to a natural, untouched-by-humans life as possible.
Kathy Rudy's book talks a lot about "affect", and the power of emotion to persuade us to change our behavior. If I'm being honest with myself, I might recognize that closer exposure, awareness, and association with the effects of my actions just might convince me to change my ways. However, I find myself turning away because I have already made up my mind to eat animals for the time being, and I, like most people, would rather avoid that which makes me uncomfortable.